Agenda for negotiations
An Agenda helps you stay on track and discuss what you need to discuss and not discuss what you don’t need to discuss.
An agenda does two things: it sets the Topics (what we are discussing) and the Timing (how long we will take). It doesn’t matter which order you present them, but you need both.
The goal is to be brief so the other side can write it down, understand the goal of the meeting (brainstorm vs. final decision), and feel comfortable.
Topics
You need to be clear about what is on the table. If you leave it vague, the conversation will get messy.
Bad
“I want to meet to talk about our contract.”
This is too vague. The other person might panic or prepare the wrong information.
Good
“I want to discuss 3 things regarding our partnership renewal:
- The monthly service fee
- The support response time
- The length of the new term
What do you think?”
After you list your topics, pause and ask for input. Use phrases like:
- “What do you think about this list?”
- “What did I get wrong?”
- “What should be added?”
- “Are you ready to discuss it now or should we find another time?” It prompts the toher person to start talking.
If they agree, great—you can start. If they disagree and want to add something new like “Liability Insurance”, you immediately ask “Why?”. By asking “why”, you get information about their interests.
It becomes:
You: “I want to discuss 3 things regarding our partnership renewal:
- The monthly service fee
- The support response time
- The length of the new term What do you think?”
Partner: “Actually, we need to add Liability Insurance to the list.”
You: “That wasn’t on my radar. Why is Liability Insurance a priority for you right now?”
Partner: “Because our legal department just updated our vendor compliance policy. If we don’t align on the new coverage limits, I am not authorized to sign this renewal.”
You can try to get their priorities or just go with it. An example with a priorities question:
You: “I see—so it’s a compliance necessity. We definitely need to tackle that. Since we only have 40 minutes, can we agree to spend less time on the ‘Support Response Time’ to fit the Insurance discussion in?”
Timing
Time is a useful tool for control. It seems natural to discuss timing after the topics, but sometimes doing it first stops things from getting messy if you get into adding topics and figuring out the “whys”.
Example of setting expectations:
We have 40 minutes for this meeting. I propose:
- 5 minutes for context and agenda setting
- 15 minutes for figuring out what we both want
- 10 minutes to build a solution
- 7 minutes to optimize the deal
- 3 minutes for next steps.
Does that work for you?
By breaking it down, you ensure you don’t spend 40 minutes complaining about the problem and 0 minutes solving it.
Controlling the Conversation
An agenda helps you set boundaries and frame the conversation. If, halfway through the meeting, the other person tries to bring up a difficult topic that wasn’t on the list, the agenda protects you.
You can say:
Sorry, but that isn’t on the agenda and I’m not sure we have time for that today. What do you think if we discuss it in a separate meeting?
Alternatively, you can do them a favor. You can agree to add it, but make sure they know you are being flexible.
We are tight on time, but since this is important to you, let’s add it. But we might need to cut the time short on the other topics. Why is this topic urgent for you?
Again, asking “why” helps you collect information.
Everyday Negotiations
You should do this even for short, informal negotiations.
With Neighbors:
Hi, I’m your upstairs neighbor. I want to talk about the noise from your AC. I think we can do it in 10 minutes at most. What do you think?
With Relationships:
My love, I want to talk about how we do our dishes. What do you think? (Don’t try to estimate how long it will take here)
P.S. A note for my students
Setting the agenda early defines the “scope” of the deal.
In a recent class simulation, the agent team only wanted to discuss salary. The club team wanted to discuss salary plus benefits.
Scenario A: If the agent team started with, “We only want to discuss salary, here is the timing,” and the club team agreed, they successfully avoided a complicated discussion about benefits.
Scenario B: If the club team said, “We want to discuss salary plus benefits,” and the agent team said, “No, we don’t want to discuss benefits,” the club team could ask “Why?” and uncover more about the agent’s interests.
It’s better to get the information early, because then you have time to act on it and adjust your strategy.